New Years Resolutions are stupid, you should already be doing those things, coming up so that means LOTS of people coming into the gyms, many of them for the first time either ever or in a loooooong time.
Sadly, there is so much conflicting information out there, that it’s hard to figure out what you should be doing to get the results you want.
That means most people will take one of two paths:
Path 1: The Observer
They’ll watch what others in the gym are doing (especially those people working with “fitness professionals” ) and they’re going to mimic those exercises as best they can. <—-this would make sense until you realize the BIG Secret….most “Fitness Pros” don’t know what they hell is going on.
Path 2: Follow The Messiah
(or how to make Shaun T, Billy Blanks and Tony Horton even richer)
8am New Years Eve…you realize.
“FML, I have nothing to wear to that party tonight because I’ve gained (insert number of pounds that makes Sad Panda sadder). The people in those commercials get F-ing ripped, I’m going to order (insert early morning T.V. infomercial) with “average” people who did this and get all ripped up.”
Someone somewhere thought this actually was a good idea.
What follows is usually:
- Start Exercise Program
- Stick it out a little (1-2 weeks)
- A. Get bored with the lack of progress, B. Get injured
This happens in part because:
A. Folks don’t read the bottom of the screen that says “Results not Typical”.
B. There is a misconception that shows like The Biggest Loser and programs like P90X and Insanity are a good reference point for what a fitness program should look like.
It’s probably a complete 180 from where you should actually start.
This is especially true if you’re new to working out or if you’ve been away from it for a while.
In actuality, where you start should be VERY basic, not complex and not very demanding.
No, it won’t be sexy…
No it won’t look like the P90X commercials or the CrossFit Games.
No, you won’t be ripped or Jacked and Tan in 30 days….
Yes, unless you’re vastly overweight you won’t end up losing 5lbs a week.
Yes, it’s going to be a little boring if you have workout ADD and need constant variety,
Yes, you’ll make slow steady, sustainable progress without being constantly sore, injured and tired.
Sorry, I know that whole not being jacked up thing sucks….
Step 1: Find a good “Fitness Professional”
Don’t just go to the local Golds and go, “I want a trainer”…this is a recipe for failure. <—-although I did get one of my bestest clients this way.
Look for a trainer who has:
- Some formal education in the field
- A reputable certification (NSCA, ACSM)
- Make sure they actually have multiple LONG-TERM (6 months or more) clients and OFFER you a chance to talk to them.
What you need most from this person is:
A. MOVEMENT assessment, NOT a fitness assessment.
You probably already know you’re fat and/ or out of shape….you don’t need me to tell you that.
But you do need to know what’s going on with your movements and what movements you should be focusing on and what movements you shouldn’t be doing yet.
B. A Program
It doesn’t (and shouldn’t) need to be elaborate, just something you can stick with and progress with for a month or two, before tweaking it, that is logically thought out and not just a miss-mash of random exercises.
NO, you should not be doing new stuff every workout.
C. Technique check.
You’re doing it wrong…it’s really that simple….
Easiest way to get injured….poor technique.
Get it right.
Step 2: Do the Program
Just do the program.
If it is 3 days a week, find the time to do 3 days a week and stick with it for a few months.
Don’t change it, don’t add to it, don’t subtract from it, you’re simply a line cook at this point, not a chef.
That means you haven’t earned the right to modify the program (unless something is causing pain, then you should drop it).
What to look for in a Good Program for a Beginner.
Edit: I’m making some assumptions here, mostly being that you are physically able to perform all movements. This may not be the case…and probably isn’t.
The Moves:
The program should emphasize the largest muscles through the largest, pain-free, range of motion possible.
This means the bulk of the program should consist of some variation of the most basic movement patterns:
- Squat
- Lunge
- Push
- Pull
- Static Hold (plank) <——although it can be argued that a pushup is indeed nothing more than a moving plank. Not only would I accept that argument based on its impeccable logic, I would commend the commenter for their knowledge of exercise technique and biomechanical principles. But it’s my blog and I decided “Static Hold” should have its own bullet…thanks
You don’t need an “Arm Day”…..
The Structure:
It should be repeatable….really it’s that simple.
Every workout for the first month or two should be challenging but repeatable on any given day.
You shouldn’t be failing at lifts EVER..*this is not the same as working to failure, which is another thing you shouldn’t be doing much of at this point.
The workout its self should consist of a warmup, main workout and some type of cool-down even if it’s just stretching or foam rolling.
Ex: Day 1.
| Exercise | Sets |
Reps |
| Foam Roll All major muscles |
5-10 minutes |
|
| Corrective/ Warm Up Exercises |
5-10 minutes |
|
| Strength: | ||
| 1a) Body Weight Box Squat |
10 |
|
| 1b) Elevated Pushup |
3 |
AMAP <12 |
| 2a) TRX Assissted Split Squat |
3 |
10 |
| 2b) TRX Row |
3 |
AMAP <12 |
| 3a) Plank |
2 |
ALAP < 45’s |
| 3b) Face Pull |
2 |
12-15 |
|
Stretching |
5 minutes |
*s stands for seconds
* AMAP/ ALAP (as many or long as possible) < less than or equal to this number of reps.
Step 3: Have Patience (especially with fat loss or muscle gain)
It took you YEARS of laying on the couch playing Call of Duty to become a walking (or waddling) amoebae.
It’s going to take a little time to pull the weight off.
Exercise helps, but until you get pretty strong, have some muscle and can really kill it at the gym exercise isn’t going to be a huge contributor to weight loss fat loss.
If you’re a guy trying to gain muscle…realize that in year one of a good training program, with EVERYTHING dialed in you’ll be lucky to gain 10-20lbs of muscle…
Read That Again
“in year one of a good training program, with EVERYTHING dialed in you’ll be lucky to gain 10-20lbs of muscle”.
Yes, some people gain more, but we’re being all Bell Curve and Standard Deviations here…10-20lbs in a year is pretty good <—If you’ve been training for a while this number goes waaaaaaay down.
That’s It?
It can be, but it would be a really boss thing if you put in some time doing some aerobic work too.
NOT, NOT, NOT because you need to “burn off the fat”, but instead because you probably have a really sh@tty aerobic system
This means EVERYTHING you do in life is more stressful and physically harder than need be because your body can not produce energy to meet the demand, recover from energy deficits and remove metabolic trash.
Your body is always in a state of Sympathetic dominance.
Being in a state of Sympathetic dominance means the body can’t afford the energy to rest and repair because the signal from the body is that danger is imminent and that energy, or adaptive resources, must be held back and channeled to dealing with the coming danger.
So you need to get your heart in shape too.
That way you can recover, train harder and actually not be a tired pile of slop throughout the rest of the day.
What to Do?
Take a freaking walk….
Don’t go running…unless you “like” running and your body can tolerate it.
Running sucks, even runners think running sucks, they only like it when it’s over.
But the truth is you can use any modality that keeps your heart rate around 100-140 beats per minute.
This rate will build your aerobic system without having too much of an impact on the other systems of the body and still allow for full recovery.
Now That’s it….Right?
Well……
It would be great if you could clean up the diet some too.
You don’t have to get all Paleo, Atkins, Ketogenic, Carb Cycle, Ornish, Pritikin, Intermittent Fasting, Low Fat, Low Carb, High Protein, Grapefruit Only. <—–although some of these are Roy approved and work well
You could just:
Not Eat So Much Sh@t…..
Seriously, stop making excuses.
You know that chicken breast with broccoli is better for you than a couple of slices of Pizza chased with a couple of cookies.
Just eat like an adult.
“Ohh, well I just had a packet of cheese crackers and a Snickers. That’s not so bad right?”
Ummm, yeah, it sucks, you’re 45 not 15….don’t lie to yourself.
A meal, these are not…..
As a beginner, you don’t need to worry about specifics and semantics. Just make some easy dietary changes and good things will happen.
Things like:
- Eliminate liquid calories.
- Up your protein if it’s below 50 grams a day. <—-higher is usually better, but lets start somewhere.
- Lower your carbs.
- Limit sweets and snacks.
- EAT REAL FOOD, not snack food all day.
- Don’t eat until you’re
a swollen pig ready for the butcherfull and bloated, just satisfied. - Don’t wait too long between feedings if you know you become a ravenous beast when you’re hungry.
Really, it’s not that complicated.
“It’s not building F-ing rockets. If it was we’d be building f-ing rockets.” – Jim Rooney
Yeah, he actually says that…
If you just started there you’d be setting yourself up for long-term, sustainable progress.
Yeah, you may get Insanity, hop around your living room for a couple of months and get in great shape pretty quick…or, like most, you’ll be in the “results not typical group” <—–as in (for the uninitiated amongst us) they load the commercial with people who got superior results and pass them off as expected or average results.
And you’ll probably have quit long before you’ve gotten results, or you’ll get hurt or just be like, “F-this, the Golden Girls are on.”
Sweet 80’s Jazzercise workout scene from www.dvdizzy.com
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